This morning during Augie's first nap I decided that I would surprise Forrest with a sweet act of service and mow the back yard for him. His free time is pretty precious, what with work and a masters degree program, so why not help the fellow out? After finishing up the yard (including seeding some new grass in bald spots and watering, what-what!) I felt pretty invigorated. I have to admit, that ever since I married my strapping young buck-of-a-husband I have had to do very little outdoor manual labor, and it felt pretty good! The sense of accomplishment as sweat covered my brow and the sun shone above got me thinking, "Why don't I do stuff like this more often?" I must have been high off grass fumes because this is where my judgement started getting a little questionable. After Augie woke up and I fed him lunch he started acting kinda snotty-- you know how kids do when they are bored and the same old toys just won't cut it? After soliciting any friends to come over and play to no avail I decided to take matters into my own mommy hands; I would take Augie to the park to feed the ducks! That extra bit of crazy that was still running through my blood from earlier precipitated my next decision; We would WALK to the park. This may not seem like a crazy idea, but there are no parks in my immediate neighborhood. I looked at Google maps and plotted the best ways to avoid the highway. The journey there would take 2.5 miles. No biggie, right?! I packed up some water, crackers, Augie, some dollars (I won't tell you how many, because I don't want the internet to know how rich/poor I am) and we were OFF! The journey there was not half-bad. There were a lot of forested areas in the route we took and sidewalks the whole way. Finally, after about 40 minutes, we made it. There was a moment in the middle of the journey there where my inner athlete who had told me to do this in the first place was being strangled violently by the lazy girl, who also lives inside me, who was awoken from her afternoon nap to find that she was stranded across town with no car. Augie had fun feeding the ducks crackers and when we were getting ready to head home I got my supidest idea thus far; Why don't we take the short way home instead?! You see, the shorter way (the way I go by car) is a highway access road. Although it doesn't have a sidewalk next to it, there is at least 100 yards of grass that lead into a woodsy area, so we were never in danger of being hit, but it was a dumb idea none-the-less. Did I mention the grass is in the form of hills? Well it is. In a car it is not hard to go up and down hills. On foot with a stroller it is. Super. Duper. Uggggggh. Hard. Anyway, we finally made it past the hills and into the shopping center right before my neighborhood. We passed by the "Planned Parenthood Express" (What!?!? Express? I have no idea either.) and I really considered going in and asking them what they could do about Augie. You know...really make them uncomfortable and maybe even use an accent to feign ignorance. Say something like, "I hear from friend you take away unwanted childrens, yes?" Basically my mind went down a whole rabbit hole from there, but you get the point. Finally, right before getting home I stopped at the sub-shop and got a chocolate ice cream cone to make up for all the weight I might have lost on my trek. It takes a lot of calories stay looking like I do. I shared with Augie but at this point he was pretty pissed at me and not even chocolate was going to win him over. I put him down for a nap right when we got home and he passed out like a ... fainting goat? We had fun but all in all we were out walking for TWO AND A HALF HOURS and about five miles.
Good to know I can live without a car, but I think that I just need to make Augie more friends so there is always one available. So I can avoid and unnecessary exercise next time.
*The stroller I own has a sun-visor, so no babies were burnt in the making of this adventure.